BABY KIRA looks skeptical.

BABY QUINN: You really are lucky to have this chance, Jedi. Where I come from all the difficult taskmasters can kill you with their brains. No mistakes or snarky comebacks allowed.

BABY KIRA: They can do that here, too. At least Mister Lord Scourge can.

BABY QUINN: Well, where I come from they do it a lot more.

 

-snip-

 

BABY QUINN, very softly: Entertainment can be arranged.

BABY QUINN darts forward, climbs up the little table holding KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING's cage, and knocks the lid off. He scoops up KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING's walker, gasps at the pain of gripping the engine exhaust, and drops the walker on the floor, where it cracks and falls over.

Everyone looks at KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING, who flails ineffectually.

BABY QUINN: Well?

KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING growls and continues flailing.

BABY QUINN: We had a deal. I was going to free you and you were going to destroy everybody who's mean to me.

KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: That deal was contingent on you not breaking my walker, you imbecile.

BABY QUINN, dejectedly: Right. I could probably have planned this better.

 

He's such an adorable little bastard.

He's such an adorable little bastard.

 

I am bewildered that nobody has killed the little punk yet.

 

I am bewildered that nobody has killed the little punk yet.

But then, that's kind of his defining conundrum, isn't it?

 

My dog jumped when Karagga was revealed, that's how hard I laughed. Very well done. I'm just waiting for one of them to poke him with a stick.

Karagga as the class pet was a stroke of genius! LOL! Wonderful!

It took me a while to decide on a class pet. Satele Shan was a strong contender for the role, but in the end it was a tossup between Karagga and Baby Lokin Having An Embarrassing Transformation Difficulty.

 

Some of these potential guests are hard to write! Satele never inspired me, Malgus is practically invisible if you're not in the habit of running FPs...and I should consider trying Huttball, however briefly, to see this Deathmark guy.

It took me a while to decide on a class pet. Satele Shan was a strong contender for the role, but in the end it was a tossup between Karagga and Baby Lokin Having An Embarrassing Transformation Difficulty.

 

Some of these potential guests are hard to write! Satele never inspired me, Malgus is practically invisible if you're not in the habit of running FPs...and I should consider trying Huttball, however briefly, to see this Deathmark guy.

 

I've never seen Deathmark up close, only heard him. He's voiced by the ever amazing Stve Blum. Mmm, Steve Blum

I should consider trying Huttball, however briefly, to see this Deathmark guy.

You don't need to play it, it's impossible to see him in person anyway. Watch the trailer for it on the Holonet section, though. You get a close up view of the Hutt, the Anouncer, and Deathmark.

On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and T7-01.

 

 

KHEM VAL: Today is the Tulak Hord festival on Korriban.

T7-01: Festival = exciting?

KHEM VAL: Yes. It's a personal holiday. I go to Tulak Hord's tomb in the Valley of the Sith Lords and feast upon the apprentices who got sent there for menial tasks.

T7-01: Festival = terrible!

KHEM VAL: Nobody asked for your opinion.

KHEM VAL leaves.

T7-01: Today = sports day // children = participate in races and other fun activities

BABY GUSS, eyeing BABY AKAAVI and BABY TANNO VIK suspiciously: Fun for who?

T7-01: First activity = three-legged race // children = choose partners and race with one leg bound together

BABY TANNO VIK: I call M1-4X.

M1-4X: I am honored, but droids aren't allowed to participate in such things.

BABY JORGAN: No promotions, no commendations, no three-legged races...you droids get it rough.

BABY TANNO VIK: Mister Teeseven, the droid has three legs. I can't imagine how you can possibly get more qualified for this kind of thing.

BABY TANNO VIK tugs M1-4X out of the toybox, climbs on top of him, and looks defiant.

BABY GUSS: Jorgan, will you be my partner?

BABY JORGAN: Only if you promise not to get paralyzed with terror during the race.

BABY GUSS: Oh. How's panic. Is panic okay?

BABY JORGAN: No.

BABY AKAAVI and BABY YUUN exchange significant looks and move to stand side by side.

BABY RUSK, cradling his stuffed-animal squad: Jorgan's already spoken for? Rats. Can I race with Lieutenant Wraid?

T7-01: Partner = must be at least mostly sentient

BABY RUSK, disconsolately: Yes, sir.

BABY ELARA: I'll be your partner, Rusk. We'll lead your squad to victory.

BABY RUSK: Wow. And you carry Band-aids. I bet my squad'll survive this one.

BABY YUUN and BABY AKAAVI are conferring quietly.

BABY AKAAVI, quietly: Save it for the opportune moment.

BABY GUSS, suspiciously: Save what?

BABY AKAAVI: If you are fortunate, you will never find out.

T7-01: Children = time to tie up // left leg of one child = tied to right leg of the other // children = must run across the yard to the finish line together

The children tie up as ordered, all except BABY TANNO VIK, who is already on a three-legged vehicle.

T7-01: Race = starts now

The children surge forward. BABY GUSS immediately freezes up in panic, sending BABY JORGAN tumbling to the ground instead of running forward. BABY RUSK and BABY ELARA surge ahead. M1-4X, with BABY TANNO VIK riding, keeps pace.

BABY TANNO VIK: You must be able to go faster than this.

M1-4X: I'm trying. But I'm not a cargo carrier.

BABY TANNO VIK: The goody two-shoes 'Pubs are keeping up, man. Cheating is usually more productive than this.

M1-4X: Hey! I am a goody two-shoes 'Pub!

BABY TANNO VIK: And as useless as the rest of them, it seems.

BABY AKAAVI and BABY YUUN, despite working together well, are falling behind.

BABY AKAAVI: Now is the time.

BABY AKAAVI and BABY YUUN, in a practiced motion, leap forward to tackle M1-4X. M1-4X falls over sideways, sending BABY TANNO VIK tumbling away. Then BABY AKAAVI throws a punch at BABY RUSK while BABY YUUN jabs at BABY ELARA. BABY RUSK and BABY ELARA tumble, sending BABY RUSK's squad sailing overhead to land along the path to the finish line.

T7-01: Akaavi + Yuun = cut it out

BABY AKAAVI: Busy winning here.

BABY AKAAVI and BABY YUUN trample BABY RUSK's squad underfoot.

T7-01: Murderers = disqualified from winning

BABY AKAAVI: How about mere leg-breakers?

T7-01: Brutal assailants = also disqualified from winning

BABY AKAAVI: I find it difficult to operate with such tactical restrictions.

BABY YUUN: Almost there.

T7-01: Akaavi + Yuun = already disqualified

BABY YUUN: You didn't tell us that rule beforehand!

BABY AKAAVI: Physical assault has always been accepted as a solution to problems before.

BABY JORGAN, dragging a trembling BABY GUSS along: She has a point.

T7-01: Children = impossible // T7-01 = getting very frustrated

T7-01 briefly stops. The children hear a low rumble, rapidly growing louder.

T7-01: Sound = consistent with a low flyby // Aircraft = not supposed to get this close

BABY GUSS: I have a bad feeling about this.

 

Rocks fall. Everyone dies.

 

 

Idiom notes:

 

So the stories are done because everyone interesting died?

...well, I guess that's one way to end it.

Awww, poor little squished chibis

 

Well, it was fun while it lasted, thanks Bright!

(My husband made me do it. It's not my fault! This next bit's all mine.)

 

 

On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by and KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.

 

 

KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE walk up to the wreckage of FORCED COMPANIONS DAYCARE.

KHEM VAL: Huh. Somebody screwed up.

LORD SCOURGE: I never would've thought T7-01 would be the one to do it.

KHEM VAL: No kidding.

LORD SCOURGE: Ah, well. Instance reset?

KHEM VAL: Instance reset.

KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE walk away again.

 

 

On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by and KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.

 

 

LORD SCOURGE: So did anyone actually succeed in dying?

BABY TEMPLE looks around.

BABY TEMPLE: No, I think the instance reset cleared it.

LORD SCOURGE: That is somewhat disappointing.

KHEM VAL: I was really expecting that Guss wouldn't make it.

BABY GUSS, hiding under the corner table, hugs himself and rocks back and forth quietly.

LORD SCOURGE: Ah, well. Until T7-01 respawns, I think it's high time we got the Force-sensitives some lightsaber training.

KHEM VAL: I feel that for tradition's sake one of us should assert the daycare rules, including no weapons training.

LORD SCOURGE: Teeseven got daycare crushed by falling rocks. I think that earns us a free pass for the day.

LORD SCOURGE spreads out his cloak and shakes out a staggeringly large pile of training sabers.

LORD SCOURGE: Force-sensitives, please come forward.

BABY KIRA, BABY ASHARA, BABY JAESA, and BABY XALEK come forward. BABY GUSS continues cowering under the table.

BABY TEMPLE: I'm definitely not coming forward for that.

LORD SCOURGE: I...wouldn't expect you to.

BABY TEMPLE: Good! Good! Please continue!

BABY XALEK sweeps up a practice blade and hits BABY JAESA with it.

BABY JAESA: Ow!

KHEM VAL: Well played, Xalek.

LORD SCOURGE: Yes, well played indeed. Your aggression does you credit.

BABY JAESA is scowling ferociously.

BABY KIRA: It's okay, Jaesa. Stay calm. If you control your emotions, you can-

BABY XALEK hits BABY KIRA with his practice blade.

BABY KIRA: Ow!

BABY ASHARA picks up a practice blade.

BABY ASHARA: Control your emotions, ladies. Just carry a big stick while you're doing so.

LORD SCOURGE: This one might be dangerous.

KHEM VAL: I could devour her if she ever became a serious Jedi threat.

BABY JAESA, in a singsong voice: Control, control, you must control...

BABY KIRA: That's right. Think Light Side thoughts.

BABY XALEK grumbles wordlessly.

BABY PIERCE wanders up and examines the pile of training sabers. He picks one up and waves it experimentally.

KHEM VAL: Put that down.

BABY PIERCE: Why? I've gotta learn to beat things up, too.

BABY PIERCE commences a mad charge that sends BABIES XALEK, KIRA, JAESA, and ASHARA flying.

LORD SCOURGE, muttering: That's not half bad.

KHEM VAL: You don't get to use lightsabers or training sabers!

BABY PIERCE, defiantly: Why not?

LORD SCOURGE, pretending he hadn't approved: You are not a Force user. It's a Force user thing.

BABY PIERCE, waving at KHEM VAL: He's not a Force user.

KHEM VAL: I'm not using a lightsaber or a training saber. I am using an ancient artifact of terrifying evil.

BABY PIERCE: Can I learn how to wield an ancient artifact of terrifying evil?

KHEM VAL: No.

BABY PIERCE: You lot make no sense at all. It's a stick. You hit people with it.

BABY PIERCE casually swings to one side, knocking a charging BABY XALEK out cold without looking at him.

BABY PIERCE: So why is it exclusive to you Sith?

BABY JAESA, groggily: And Jedi, jerk.

BABY KIRA, rubbing her head: Stay calm, Jaesa.

LORD SCOURGE: It's a rule, Pierce.

BABY PIERCE: I hate rules.

LORD SCOURGE: It's a rule and also the Force users can casually destroy you if you try to join the lightsaber club.

BABY PIERCE: I can casually destroy things, too.

BABY PIERCE pulls a thermal detonator out of his glove.

KHEM VAL: You don't have to blow up the playroom just to prove a point every other day, Pierce.

BABY JAESA: Yeah! There are peaceful ways to resolve our differences.

BABY PIERCE: Hey, Jaesa. The Dark Side is awesome.

BABY JAESA: ...oh. Rrrrrrrrrrgggg-

BABY KIRA: Pierce!

BABY PIERCE: What? It's not my fault she keeps falling for it.

LORD SCOURGE steps forward and relieves BABY PIERCE of his training saber.

LORD SCOURGE: Go terrorize Rusk or something, would you?

BABY PIERCE: Hmph. Okay.

LORD SCOURGE: Now, children. Khem Val and I will demonstrate some of the basic combat forms that will guide your fighting. Here I shall set myself in the opening stance of Soresu form. It is a form of defense and protection, used for-

KHEM VAL: Being a pathetic coward, like the rebels at Yn and Chabosh. Tulak Hord used the elegant aggression of of Makashi form.

KHEM VAL demonstrates a stance and a few practice swings with his great, lightkilling Sith blade.

BABY XALEK, raising his hand: Mister Lord Scourge?

LORD SCOURGE: Just Lord Scourge. You don't need the mister.

BABY XALEK: Which is the killing-people form?

LORD SCOURGE and KHEM VAL smile.

KHEM VAL: All of them.

BABY XALEK: Oh, I'm gonna like these lessons.

LORD SCOURGE: Ah, well. Instance reset?

KHEM VAL: Instance reset.

KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE walk away again.

I laughed hysterically. Breaking the fourth wall always cracks me up.

BABY TEMPLE: I'm definitely not coming forward for that.

LORD SCOURGE: I...wouldn't expect you to.

BABY TEMPLE: Good! Good! Please continue!

 

now THAT'S the temple I know

Yay! No squished chibis! (Mean, Mr. Bright, very mean.)

 

And I love Pierce. Of course he's going to use any weapon available to him. Come on!

 

I'm working on ideas (feel free to use or disregard):

substitutes, those poor souls have no idea what they're getting into: Orteg, Satele Shan

 

math lessons (trajectory and profit margins are very important)

chemistry lessons

comparing future facial hair

getting sucked in by shiny commercials on the holo

swimming

races on big wheels (or whatever three-wheeled death trap without brakes SW has)

watching the same movie over and over and over again

Thana Vesh

Thana Vesh

 

I enjoyed killing her greatly

I enjoyed killing her greatly

 

Spoiler tags on this thread plz, even on some of the obvious actions.

Cheers for more Forced Companions Daycare

 

I have a few possible ideas for future updates

 

- A visit from Kephess

- Babies meet their adult selves (Maybe through a rip in time or something)

- Field Trip to other planets (Taris, Voss, etc.)

Yay! No squished chibis! (Mean, Mr. Bright, very mean.)

 

I'm working on ideas (feel free to use or disregard):

substitutes, those poor souls have no idea what they're getting into: Orteg, Satele Shan

math lessons (trajectory and profit margins are very important)

chemistry lessons

comparing future facial hair

getting sucked in by shiny commercials on the holo

swimming

races on big wheels (or whatever three-wheeled death trap without brakes SW has)

watching the same movie over and over and over again

Thana Vesh

 

I second these. Also, I'll add two more of my own:

 

Minor bug (everyone gets sick at daycare) It might be especially funny if SCORPIO was involved (she introduces the virus?) but really with anyone. I can just see Lord Scourge and Khem Val with baby Vector and a few fingerlings coughing all over them.

 

Christmas or Valentine's Day party: Curious to see what everyone brings in the way of presents. (Tanno Vikk's blow up, Doc gives valentines to all the girls with free smooch coupons, Risha picks everyone's pockets and gives them back the contents in gift bags)

 

I still LOL every time I read these.

Some of these ideas y'all are offering are better than I could come up with. I must see about working them in...

 

On WEDNESDAYS, FCD is staffed by SCORPIO and T7-01.

 

 

A number of middling-height aliens, hunched over, wearing sketchy cultist robes, and sporting enormous downhanging snouts, shuffle into the room.

BABY TANNO VIK: Wait, who invited you?

CHEVIN 1: Greetings, sentients. We are here to offer an opportunity for enrichment and mutual prosperity.

BABY RISHA: Enrichment? I'm there.

CHEVIN 2: We have here a list of completely harmless and valueless items that are not good for anything nor even slightly desirable at all.

BABY RISHA: Run that one by me again?

CHEVIN 1: We will give you nigh-infinite cash money to put these utterly worthless objects in our hands.

BABY TANNO VIK: Well, you guys clearly aren't running any angles with that offer.

BABY JORGAN: Yeah. Nothing can go wrong with this plan.

BABY YUUN crawls to the front of the room and snatches the list from CHEVIN 1's hand.

BABY YUUN: Give me ten minutes, tops.

BABY RISHA: Aren't you going to negotiate payment first?

BABY YUUN: Finding stuff is what I do. We'll worry about credits after.

BABY RISHA: No way are you beating me to this.

CHEVIN 2: Good, good.

CHEVIN 1: Please, small sentients, do continue.

CHEVIN 2 produces more lists and distributes them to the children.

T7-01: Forced Companions =/= free child labor

CHEVIN 1: It is paid child labor. We are not unreasonable, droid.

CHEVIN 2: Why does the droid dictate terms? Do you small sentients really take orders from this water cooler and this...this...

SCORPIO: Choose your next words carefully.

CHEVIN 2: ...this inorganic nonsentient that nevertheless appears to be exceedingly valuable and probably most formidable in combat?

SCORPIO: I qualify as sentient.

CHEVIN 1: You are a droid.

SCORPIO: And you are a meatbag. That's no reason for us to be uncivil here. Do you wish these objects found? I can do as well as these larvae you call small sentients.

T7-01: SCORPIO = stay polite // children =/= larvae

SCORPIO: I have work to do, Teeseven. I will return.

SCORPIO, BABY RISHA, BABY YUUN, and BABY TANNO VIK head out. BABY SKADGE settles by the doorway.

BABY JORGAN: Pazaak?

BABY SKADGE: Yeah, sure.

BABY JORGAN and BABY SKADGE play for a while. T7-01 watches the CHEVINS distrustfully, or as distrustfully as an astromech droid can. The CHEVINS stand perfectly still.

Some time later...

BABY JORGAN: So I have to ask, Skadge. They offered a perfectly good opportunity for profit. I thought you'd be in.

BABY SKADGE: Yeah, I'm in.

BABY JORGAN: Really. It's a very..."sitting there doing nothing" kind of in.

BABY SKADGE: I got a great business model. BABY SKADGE reaches over to touch the door. You'll see.

BABY RISHA comes bounding in the door, holding a large lumpy rock in her arms. BABY SKADGE slams one fist out as she passes, knocking her out cold. BABY SKADGE then takes up the rock and carries it to the Chevin.

CHEVIN 1: Excellent, excellent. Take this remuneration for your personal enrichment, and may your future enterprises prosper.

BABY SKADGE: Cut the vocabulary. Hand over the credits.

SCORPIO, striding in with what appears to be a solid concrete full-scale statue of a Gamorrean on her back: And you call that barely-verbal lout more sentient than me.

CHEVIN 2: Hand over that statue and we will apply any terminology you prefer.

BABY TANNO VIK comes in carrying a fork.

SCORPIO, staring: If I thought these Chevin organisms capable of humor, I would say your assignment is a joke.

BABY TANNO VIK: I don't ask. I just take the money.

CHEVIN 2 gleefully accepts the fork.

BABY YUUN struggles in, almost wholly enveloped in a translucent green gel.

BABY JORGAN: What the hell is...

T7-01: Children = no swearing // Jorgan's question = legitimate nevertheless

BABY YUUN: It feels like a slime mold, Jorgan. I don't ask. I just find.

BABY YUUN tips slightly to let the enormous slime mold ooze onto CHEVIN 1's feet. CHEVIN 1 hurries to stuff it into a sack.

CHEVIN 1: This completes our list of requirements.

CHEVIN 2: We hope you find your remuneration sufficient.

CHEVIN 1: Surely, prosperity will come to us all.

CHEVIN 2: But mostly us.

CHEVIN 1 punches CHEVIN 2 in the snout.

CHEVIN 1: Ignore him. Thank you for your assistance.

CHEVIN 2: May all your future enterprises enrich you almost as much as this is going to-

CHEVIN 1 punches CHEVIN 2 in the snout.

CHEVIN 1: Nothing to see here.

CHEVIN 2: We'll just be going.

CHEVIN 1 and CHEVIN 2 start shuffling toward the door, carrying their loot with them. A third CHEVIN pulls up in an overpowered red speeder/minijet, the kind composed entirely of red curves, overdone chrome, and middle-aged insecurity. The CHEVINS hop in, start cackling maniacally, and jet into the sunset.

BABY JORGAN, staring after the speeder: I repeat. Nothing can go wrong with this plan.

 

 

Idiom notes:

 

I love love love your stuff. So... can I politely point out an inconsistency? You can totally just say "Oh, that's interesting" and walk away.

 

When you write for Yuun, he wouldn't use 'i' when referring to himself. Yuun is Gand and Gands do not name themselves unless they are exceptional Findsmen or Shaman. So a Gand would say "This Gand is good at finding things" or "This Findsman's specialty it to find things."

 

Yuun was allowed to name himself so he refers to himself as Yuun in place of I. "Yuun is an accomplished Findsman."

 

But Chibi Yuun may not!

I love love love your stuff. So... can I politely point out an inconsistency? You can totally just say "Oh, that's interesting" and walk away.

 

When you write for Yuun, he wouldn't use 'i' when referring to himself. Yuun is Gand and Gands do not name themselves unless they are exceptional Findsmen or Shaman. So a Gand would say "This Gand is good at finding things" or "This Findsman's specialty it to find things."

 

Yuun was allowed to name himself so he refers to himself as Yuun in place of I. "Yuun is an accomplished Findsman."

 

But Chibi Yuun may not!

 

You're entirely correct. I should've processed that ages ago. And, believe me, every verbal/cultural quirk that serves to distinguish one of thirty children can only be a good thing. I'll keep it in mind in the future!

Lol, I love that Jorgan's always swearing (well, mild swearing). And nice commentary on the GAC and all these "useless" items we collected for a shadowy conglomerate mostly known for slaving and utter disregard for anything but profit. Well done

For Ardim (and, I think, one or two others)!

 

On THURSDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and LORD SCOURGE.

 

 

T7-01: Today = guest // mysterious envoy from Voss = allowing child to stay here // mysterious envoy = busy meeting with the Dark Council

LORD SCOURGE: I wanted to be there to watch him drive the Council insane with his nonsense, but they didn't process my guest clearance in time. Marr is difficult about that.

T7-01: Children = welcome Tro-Bul

BABY TRO-BUL: It is my honor to be here among you.

BABY XALEK: You must explain how your voice gets that reverb effect.

BABY TRO-BUL: What?

BABY XALEK: I have always wanted that reverb effect. Maybe if I extract your throat…

LORD SCOURGE: Do not do that. Sith can wear respirator masks to get that sound.

BABY XALEK: And Voss get it for free? Not fair.

T7-01: Tro-Bul // tell us a little about Voss?

BABY TRO-BUL: Voss is ruled by the Mystics, wise ones who have visions that are absolute and infallible.

BABY DOC: Because nothing can go wrong with that.

BABY TRO-BUL: We have interpreters to make sense of it. Not to say the source visions are total nonsense. The Mystics and their visions rule us all.

BABY GUSS: Wow, really? It turns out that I'm a Mystic!

BABY TRO-BUL: Really? This is a wonderful thing! I did not think your people were guided by the Mystics' wisdom.

BABY KALIYO: We really aren't.

BABY GUSS, impressively: Yes, I am a Mystic, imbued with the power of Mystic stuff. You should listen to me. And give me cookies if you packed any for lunch.

BABY TRO-BUL: The Mystics said that offworlders would try to steal my nice things. It is my duty to offer these cookies to you.

BABY DOC: Now why didn't I think of that?

BABY GUSS: I'm having another vision! It's saying you shouldn't let Kaliyo or Xalek beat me up or electrocute me today.

BABY XALEK: Guss is a fool. Do not listen to him.

BABY TRO-BUL: Do not insult the Mystics' wisdom!

BABY XALEK: Show me a Mystic and I'll consider not insulting his wisdom.

BABY KALIYO snickers.

T7-01: Xalek = don't antagonize Voss // Voss = powerful // war with them = both embarrassing and catastrophic

BABY KALIYO: Aw, is that a problem for you?

T7-01: T7 = prefers peace

LORD SCOURGE snickers, but says nothing.

BABY TRO-BUL: Your ideas intrigue me, Mister Teeseven. Is it true that the Republic will give us free trade and cookies if we ally with them?

BABY DOC: Sure is.

T7-01: Republic = very helpful // Empire = jerks

BABY TRO-BUL: And will the Jedi teach us in other ways of using the Force, so those losers who fail Mystic training can do something non-pathetic with their lives?

T7-01: Jedi = welcomes all // Master Satele = very nice

BABY KIRA: That is a filthy lie. Have you ever heard Master Satele talk about the Voss? She's-

T7-01 beeps in a distressed manner.

T7-01: Now = change of subject

BABY GUSS: I'm open to bids for telling him, with the wisdom of the Mystics, who to side with.

LORD SCOURGE: Be quiet. Tro-Bul, with the Empire, the Voss will reach their true potential as merciless killing machines.

BABY XALEK: I look forward to matching strength with your failed Mystics. Or active Mystics.

BABY GUSS: Please don't.

BABY TRO-BUL: I'm not sure about the value of turning everybody into merciless killing machines.

LORD SCOURGE: That is because you have been blinded by Jedi lies. And Teeseven's lies. The Empire and the Sith will allow you to achieve your true potential.

BABY XALEK: After we've finished looting your planet for all it's worth.

LORD SCOURGE: Be silent.

BABY XALEK: Yes, Mister Lord Scourge.

LORD SCOURGE: Stop that.

BABY GUSS: Still open to bidding here.

T7-01: T7 = gives Guss cookies in exchange for spreading the Republic's views

LORD SCOURGE: I won't kill you if you side with the Empire and the Sith.

BABY GUSS: Wow, Lord Scourge. That's pretty persuasive.

BABY DOC: Hey, no! No! Hold on! I'll give you a bonus cookie if you tell him to side with the Republic. Ladies, please take note of my noble sacrifice.

BABY GUSS: I do like cookies…

LORD SCOURGE: More than you like breathing?

BABY GUSS: Well, no. So, Tro-Bul…

T7-01 has been digging in the closet. He rushes back with a weird collar/respirator thing.

T7-01: Guss = wear respirator // respirator = very exciting // Xalek = agrees // this respirator = renders your speech completely unintelligible // this = for your own good

T7-01 reaches a little mechanical arm out and slaps the respirator onto BABY GUSS.

BABY GUSS: Wbbbbwoggglssshhhwwwwb

BABY XALEK: He gets the reverb voice, too?

T7-01: Children = trust T7 // this = for the best

BABY TRO-BUL: Now he has the voice effect, too. Truly he is like the Mystics.

LORD SCOURGE: But you can't make out a word he says. He is a terrible Mystic.

BABY TRO-BUL: Did I mention we need professional interpreters to figure out what all our grown-up Mystics are saying? This is nothing new.

Edited August 28, 2012 by bright_ephemera