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08.18.2012 , 12:15 PM |
Lord Ninka killed Quinn
SW Chapter 3 spoilers and JK Chapter 3 spoilers and me being dumb some more.
Lord Ninka stared in morbid fascination as the Captain’s face went from pink, to red, to purple, to blue. He had lost consciousness long ago, he was probably dead, but she was not done yet. She snapped his neck. Something in her heart shifted, as if a long present thorn had been removed. It hurt, it bled, but it would heal now. She breathed deeply and looked at her faithful companion, he had warned her it was probably a trap, and she agreed to bring him along.
When the Voss warned her that she would be betrayed, she assumed it was either Pierce or Quinn, but did not know which. The one thing she did know, the two men could not possibly work together. Either way, she would have an ally in this room.
Pierce was looking at the dead Captain a quirk in his lips.
“I feel better, don’t you?” she said looking at the Lieutenant.
“What took you so long?” he replied giving her his elbow.
They walked back to the ship arm in arm with lighter hearts.
They landed on Corellia expecting a war zone, what they saw instead was shocking. The spaceport was in chaos. Lord Ninka grabbed the arm of one of the soldiers who ran past her.
“What’s going on here?” she asked the man who wore his uniform backwards and had lipstick smeared across his face.
“He’s gone! The Quinn is gone!” He said with a smile that threatened to split his face open. A young woman, an ensign by what was left of her uniform ran up and kissed the soldier smearing more lipstick on his face.
“You’re it!” She shouted and ran off.
“You’re celebrating Quinn’s death?” Lord Ninka asked incredulously. Her own crew only had a small party with cake, this display was almost unseemly.
“Of course, no more memos, no more reports to our masters that we were breaking such and such protocol, no more reminders about the proper way to press our uniforms. Endless rubbish, we woke up one day and no more.”
“Quinn did all that?”
“Every bloody day, for the entire Empire. You couldn’t escape the man, he knew when you took a six minute break instead of five.”
“I should have killed him a long time ago,” Lord Ninka mused.
“Wait, you did it? You killed him?” He looked excited, and Lord Ninka nodded cautiously, “Hey everyone, this is the Sith Lord who killed the Quinn.”
Cheers erupted and the crowd rushed Lord Ninka and Pierce. They found themselves hoisted onto the shoulders of a dozen officers and were paraded into the street. There they found no combat but parades and dancing. After a few laps up and down the block they were set on their feet at the base of the stairs.
“What happened to the fighting?” Lord Ninka asked when she caught her breath, the ride had been quite exhilarating.
“Without the Quinn we stopped getting reminders every five minutes about why we were fighting against the Republic.” One man said.
“Without the Quinn they stopped getting communications every other minute about why the Empire was superior.” A woman with laughed.
“Without the Quinn we realized that war was pretty silly since both sides have done bad things. And without the Quinn to enforce all the protocol and bureaucratic nonsense we actually managed to have a decent round of negotiations with the Republic.” Darth Vowran said walking up the street. He looked cheerful but regal and was every inch a Sith scholar except for the silly hat he wore made of torn up propaganda posters.
“So you’re safe now?” Lord Ninka asked.
“Oh yes, quite, well at least here. We still must convince the Dark Council that Baras is not the Voice.”
“Let’s get to it then.” Lord Ninka was glad she would finally be able to punish her former master.
They arrived at the council chamber to find Darth Baras’ smoking corpse.
“What happened here?” Vowran asked his cheerful expression replaced by disappointment at having missed it.
“Without the Quinn,” Darth Marr explained, “Logic and reason started working again. I asked him a question only I and the Emperor know the answer to, he didn’t know, he was lying so I killed him.”
“I helped!” Darth Ravage said waving his lightsaber.
“Ahh, well couldn’t you have waited till I got here?” Vowran asked with irritation.
“Sorry.” The Darth shrugged and sat down.
“Guess nothing for me to do here either.” Lord Ninka nudged the corpse with her foot. She peeked under the mask and shuddered putting it back.
“Oh,” Ravage said, “The Emperor wants to see you, I think the Hand are sticking him into a new body right now, by the time you get there he should be ready.”
“Sure ok.” Lord Ninka shrugged and pulled Pierce out of the room. He looked very disappointed.
They arrived on Dromund Kaas again the difference was obvious.
“Am I seeing color?” Lord Ninka asked.
“The Quinn did not like color.” A female soldier answered, “He thought he looked best in grays and reds, and he wanted to make sure everyone else was compared to him, so grays and reds for everyone.”
“Ahh, of course.”
“Did the man never sleep?” Pierce asked. Lord Ninka had worried the large man would miss the fighting but his eyes crinkled with good humor.
They caught a speeder to the dark temple and found the room where the ritual had completed, the Emperor sat on a throne, he faced a Jedi with red hair and a small droid.
“I don’t want to do this,” The Jedi said, “It’s not too late for you to turn to the light.”
“I don’t think so,” Lord Ninka drew her saber. The Jedi turned to face her new opponent.
“Ladies, ladies,” the Emperor intoned. “Don’t fight. Here look,” he got up and walked down the stairs. He put his hand on Lord Ninka’s shoulder she put away her saber with a bow. The Jedi reluctantly did the same.
“For the past millennia and more," the Emperor began with a sigh, "The Quinns have sent me memo after memo reminding me how the Republic chased the Sith to the ends of the galaxy. The great purge this, the Hyperspace wars that, sloppy, messy, insufferable, blah blah blah, I just wanted it all to stop. That’s why I wanted to destroy the galaxy.”
“Why didn’t you just kill them?” Lord Ninka asked with disbelief. She had not known the Emperor had planned to destroy the galaxy.
“I COULDN’T.” he yelled. “The Quinns would be right in front of me, kneeling, almost dead, and when I thought, ok time to end this ridiculous man’s terrible existence, I had no choice! He had to live. I was so depressed, for years I just meditated on how I could kill off his line. I couldn’t find a way.” He hugged Lord Ninka, his shriveled form looked creepy but he was quite warm and soft, something like a grandfather.
“So, you’re not going to destroy the Galaxy?” The Jedi asked, suspicion clouded her yellow eyes, but a spark of hope was there.
“No,” he looked at Lord Ninka, “wait, are you pregnant? With a Quinn?” The Jedi and Pierce looked at her expectantly.
“No,” she said blushing, “we, ahh, hadn’t got to that base yet.”
“Good, how those Quinns managed to get their heads out of their arses long enough to procreate is beyond me.” The Emperor smiled, “Oh, hey bring Lord Scourge in, it’s safe now.”
The Jedi brought out her holo-comm and called in her companions. A motley group appeared led by a large Sith pureblood.
“You were to kill him. Only his death can ensure the safety of the galaxy.” The Sith raged.
“I don’t want to destroy it anymore.” The Emperor explained. “Here look into my mind like you once did you’ll see.” The Sith eyed the Emperor but complied.
“Bunnies?” Lord Scourge said, “Really?”
“I’ve always liked them,” the Emperor said defensively. “As a show of good faith I’ll give you back your ability to feel.”
“You said the ritual could not be reversed," Lord Scourge accused, "and that I lost my feelings to cope with the pain I was in.”
“Yes well I fibbed a little. I was irritated because the Quinn at the time wanted to change the Imperial salute to hold for a second longer. He said you could barely tell the difference between the salute and simply standing straight. It was maddening, do you know how long it took to get everyone to salute the same way again?”
“My ability to feel?” Lord Scourge reminded the Emperor who was becoming more and more like an absent-minded old man.
“Yes, of course.” He waved his hand casually. The Sith lord sniffed the air, he rubbed his palms together, he looked over at the Jedi, he stepped back in shock.
“Remi?” he said as if it was the first time he was seeing her.
“That’s the first time you’ve used my name instead of just Jedi.” She smiled. The Sith grabbed her and drew her into a passionate kiss.
“Let’s go find somewhere to make out.” He said. She grabbed his arm and dragged him away.
“Good ideas all around.” The Emperor said cheerfully. “Pair off as you like.”
Lord Ninka looked over at Pierce and raised an eyebrow.
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Remi the Grey