View Single Post

DrewFromPhilly's Avatar

07.28.2012 , 11:21 PM | #21
My Jedi knight and her padawan that I imagine she would have attained at some point where both walking along discussing how much the empire sucks, when they both trip and fall - impaling each other with the horns on their stupid Viking helmets.

My imperial agent with light side republic sympathies decided one day she finally had seen enough of the sith and their shenanigans, and flys to Korriban before calling HAVOC SQUAD and the trooper I shelved at lvl 30 and then they all storm into the sith academy and temple. Pew pew! Casualties are high, and MX that giant metal bastard with a heart of solid gold yells at the vile sith about the virtues of freedom and liberty while bravely taking several shots meant for my trooper and agent - encouraging the party to soldier on. The battle rages for hours, but our heroes are outnumbered and outgunned. *Eventually, only my agent, my trooper, and MX are still alive. The sith, realizing this, cautiously begin to close in in our doomed heroes. My agent and trooper open fire at the sith as they approach but there is too many, they will surely perish. Then, MX notices that the concrete pillars holding up the temple ceiling have been severely damaged during the day's fighting and comes up with a bold and desperate plan. A well aimed barrage of missiles could bring down the entire building, crushing the sith within. The three of them discuss the plan and solemly agree to it, knowing that although they will *likely be crushed as well ending the sith would be worth that sacrifice. As the sith begin to close in on their position, MX begins to play a recording of patriotic republic marching band music and then *fires the misses. The explosion and shockwave rudely shove the approaching sith to the floor, and the foreboding building collapses around them. The ship droids on the thunderclap and shadow have been waiting patiently all day preparing diet meal plans for their chunky passengers and increasing engine output by .0008% when all of a sudden they hear the thunderous roar of the demise of the sith. They step outside and see a pile of debri. There is no sign of our heroes. The end.

My bounty hunter never got over the disses Nemro the Hutt threw at him on hutta and decides to kill that fat slob. The hunter storms nemro's palace and easily dispatches the guards. He callouslly points his blaster at Nemro and pulls the trigger. The shot is absorbed by Nemro's belly fat or possibly his thigh fat - these details have been lost to history and all we can do is speculate based on the only eyewitness testimony, that of torian cadera who was so shaken by what happened nextt that for the rest of his life he could not recall the events in his mind for more than a few minutes without uncontrollably projectile vomiting. Anyway, being such an unshakable ****** and realizing it would take a very long time for his puny blaster to penetrate the girth- the bounty hunter grabs torian's electro staff, backs up a few meters, and charges headlong full sprint at Nemro before diving into the hutt's gaping maw while screeching like an enraged lunatic. The massive Hutt is thrown into the wall behind him as his puny t-Rex arms flail wildly. Shortly thereafter, Nemro's eyes close and his giant body collapses on the floor at torian's feet. Torian, lacking the knowledge that this decision would scar his mind In a deep and painful way climbs inside Nemro to save his friend. Feeling around in the dark and Terrible place, he feels the heel of a worn boot. With several mighty tugs, torian and the bounty hunter are free from nemro's corpse. Unfortunately, the bounty hunter had passed away. Either by drowning in Nemro juice or by being crushed to death by Nemro's girth we will never know. His fate was to choke Nemro to death in the most unnesacarily violent way possible - exactly the same the way he did everything else his entire life.