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07.27.2012 , 06:24 PM |
My Miraluka BH, Chapter 3 spoilers.
Everything she touches turns to dust, everyone she loves either leaves or dies, or don’t want her to begin with. Now, Torian was gone. She left Mako, Gault and Blizz what was left of her family, on the ship, Skadge lumbered behind her, he was expendable. She was angry with herself for allowing these people into her heart, for allowing herself to care for them, she had lost enough families, and in her line of work, family wasn’t smart, love was a weakness. She had thought stupidly that becoming Mandalorian, joining a clan would make love and family safe, acceptable, they valued this stuff, and she had grown attached, she felt a need to protect them.
Her mother abandoned her, her sister was taken from her, Braden was killed, the most elite Bounty Hunters in the Galaxy, friends, brothers and sisters in arms, gunned down on the order of a Jedi with a death wish. She thought if she kept Torian at arms length, don’t let things get serious, but how do you not let things get serious with such a serious and intense person? He had told her he loved her, and she pushed him away, told him not to say such things, that she didn’t want him dead. He said it anyways, trying to placate her, trying to pull her close, whispering, and kissing and touching. Ava knew his days became numbered, and so she whispered, and kissed and touched, hanging onto every moment.
She was going to gun each one of these misguided Republic lacjkeys down, and if a hair on Torians gorgeous head was missing she would gun down their families. She gripped her pistols in each hand, trigger fingers itching, the force that was innate within her had tinted her world a shade of red. People were going to die, painfully.
“Keep up Skadge.” She said over her shoulder to the lumbering and puffing Houk. He was another weapon, something to unleash on these dead men who would threaten her people. When they had met on Belsavis that’s what she recognized him as, a weapon to be used, then thrown away when he had nothing left to offer. He grunted his reply, good dog, earn your keep.
They entered a wide open cavern, they were surrounded, Torian sat on a chair bound and she felt a wave of relief that he was still alive. Just as quickly a constriction in her heart as the idiot who was talking pointed a blaster at his head. Avacynne didn’t let the man finish his sentence, the world flashed red, blood red, as she shot him between the eyes, and unleashed her chosen weapons. Skadge cut and slashed his way through the mercenaries, his methods were messy and painful, and the cavern filled with screams, the snow underfoot melted by the hot and sticky blood. In the end all that was left standing was the Houk, bloodied and feral, Avacynne, her blood lust not nearly sated, and Torian, smiling.
“That’s my girl.” He said quietly, proud, secure.
Ava turned to Skadge, “out.” He snarled and left, and Ava untied Torian went back to the ship. She refused to speak, refusing Torian as he tried to hold her hand, to kiss her or hug her, to melt away the fear that still clung to her like the blood that spattered her armor.
She slammed the bulkhead door behind her, the force aiding her strength, which only made her even angrier. She stalked to her room giving Blizz a look that said not now as he approached her with a new contraption.
“Blizz happy you ok! What wrong with Boss? Why Boss still mad? Did Boss break new blaster Blizz make her? That would make Blizz super mad!” The little Jawa chittered to Torian, who could only stare at Ava’s closed door.
“Gault said Ava’s still on a warpath, what did you say to her?” The slight woman asked hands on hip. “Also, glad you’re alive” And patted him on the back.
“She’s still afraid.” Was all Torian said, he was never one for many words, even less in basic. Mako nodded then, understanding, Ava had confided in Mako shortly after Braden had died, she knew how many people Ava had lost.
Ava’s door opened, she threw her heavy gauntlet at the intruder. Torian caught it mid air. “Get out.”
“No.” He placed the gauntlet on a shelf.
“Get OUT!” Ava threw a pistol cartridge at his blonde head. He of course caught it.
“No!” Torian placed the cartridge beside the gauntlet with infinite calm. “I’m in love with you Avacynne.”
Ava didn’t throw anything this time but slapped him hard across the face. Her hand stung and the fair skin of his cheek turned red. “Then you’re an idiot. I hate you, and you’re stupid misplaced honor, fool of a Mandalorian, throwing your life away, for what? Glory? It’s an idiotic culture, and I’ll have no part in it anymore, so get out, I’ll have nothing to do with you.” Ava flung the words, intent on hurting him, and she did see hurt in his blue eyes, but he stubbornly stood his ground. Ava slapped him again, and again, hitting both cheeks, bruising his face. Her vision blurred as tears escaped from beneath her visor. “You stupid, stupid man, I’m not worth loving, and I can’t take the pain of losing another family. So just go, leave.” She begged him.
Torian grabbed her wrists and gently kissed the palms of her hands where the skin buzzed from hitting him. He shook his head indicating he would not move. Ava sobbed then, the fear, relief and finally pain of all those she had lost washing over her, she hadn’t cried since she was a little girl on Tython and it felt good to cry, and mourn, and to feel, even if those feeling were unbearable. Torian wrapped her up in his arms and held her on his lap rocking her gently, his hard warrior woman. He didn’t placate her, didn’t tell her everything would be ok, didn’t tell her he would always be there for her, that he wouldn’t die she deserved more than lies.
“Cyare, I love you, I want to be with you for as long as I have, I want to raise children with you, and either grow old with you or die in battle at your side. I will not go, I will not leave, you cannot drive me away with empty words and your fear.” He pulled her small metal visor off, Ava tried to turn away, but he held her head in place, her eye sockets didn’t sag, they were held up as if by invisible eyes. It amazed him how the dark within her empty sockets could look back at him, sometimes he could see bursts of colour in their depths, and sometimes the black had small specks of light like stars in space. Everything about her was beautiful to him, if only she could let go of her fear and let him love her. Her lids blinked and a tear escaped, Torian wiped it away with deference.
“I’m not a brave person, I need your help Torian, I’ve lived most of my life in fear, I’m good at pretending to be brave, but I’m not, and the thought of losing you, or Mako, or Blizz or even Gault, idiot that he is, it paralyzes me, I don’t know how to let go of that fear. I love you, and I want all those things you want, I…I need you to be my guide and I need you to be patient with me.” Ava rubbed his red cheeks, sorry that she had struck him, “and don’t ever get captured again.”
“I can do that.” He said softly, pulling her down to his lips hugging her tightly.
“Boss! Boss! Look, I made favorite blaster better! See! Don’t be mad no more ok?” A boot hit the Jawa squarely on the head.
“Out!” yelled Torian, raising another boot. The two half naked Mandalorians could hear Mako and Gault laughing in the other room.
Force of Wills
Force of Wills: The Ties that Bind