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bright_ephemera
07.25.2012 , 01:57 PM | #88
On THURSDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and LORD SCOURGE.


BABY VETTE: You know what's cool about Forced Companions? It's the only place I've ever been that has both running water and more alien kids than humans.
BABY KIRA: No, it doesn't.
BABY VETTE: Running water? Does too.
BABY KIRA: No, the other part. If youíre just counting kids, thereís definitely more humans than aliens.
BABY VETTE: Nope. We've got thirteen: Akaavi, Yuun, Broonmark, Rusk, Skadge, Tanno Vik, Guss, me, Xalek, Ashara, Kaliyo, Jorgan, and Quinn.
BABY KIRA: Quinn's not an alien.
BABY KIRA and BABY VETTE look over to where BABY QUINN sits in the corner, replicating the tactical ground situation near an outpost on Balmorra using toy swoops and plushie gundarks, periodically turning to type a rapid series of notes into his datapad. He seems extremely displeased with some mystifying property of the gundarks.
BABY VETTE: He sure as hell isn't human.
T7-01: Children = watch language // Vette = correct nevertheless
BABY VETTE: But, if you want to go all genetically correct on me, we still have twelve.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: You're not counting me because I AM A SLAVE. I can tell.
BABY VETTE: No, it's because you're not one of the daycare kids. You're an employee.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: Technically I AM A SLAVE.
BABY VETTE: Whatever. Even not counting you, we're still ahead.
BABY KIRA: No, that's just even. We've got Doc, Andronikos, Corso, Jaesa, Kira, Pierce, Risha, Elara, Talos, Temple, Vector, and Quinn.
BABY VETTE: Those last two are highly suspect.
BABY KIRA: You said Quinn counts.
BABY VETTE: Yeah, but Vector? He's all...buggy.
BABY VECTOR: We started out human.
BABY VETTE: You realize there's only one of you, right? See, guys? He's clearly Killik. I bet he's hiding a second pair of arms in there somewhere.
BABY VECTOR hugs himself and edges cautiously away.
BABY KIRA: Genetically human.
BABY VECTOR: Only mostly at this point.
BABY KIRA: Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?
BABY VETTE: Thatís kind of what weíre arguing.
BABY VECTOR: We thought maybe we could get along in peace instead of getting hung up over minor differences like species and the associated clashing economic and military interests of galaxy-spanning superpowers, especially since the Killik side of that equation could easily bust in here and gobble you up while you sit there being senselessly antagonistic in your mean-spirited prodding of their young. And no, we donít have a second pair of arms. Jerks.
BABY VECTOR pouts. Everyone else falls silent for a long moment.
T7-01: Children = no death threats
LORD SCOURGE: I would call that one an astute sociopolitical observation. Itíll pass.
BABY VECTOR, sighing: We wish to resolve this. Split the difference? Half and half?
BABY VETTE: Split the difference, thatís twelve point five for us and eleven point five for you, Kira. Aliens win!
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