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07.22.2012 , 05:07 PM | #58
Quote: Originally Posted by Crezelle View Post
lol i wanna see what blizz, vector, quinn, and vette would have brought
And, see, I'm trying not to set up the expectation that I'll perform anything on command, but you keep hitting just the right notes to get my mental gears going! (Minus Blizz...sorry, kid. I'll meet you someday.)

On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and KHEM VAL.

T7-01: Today = show and tell // First up = Vector
BABY VECTOR: Today we have brought a product of the nest called membrosia.
KHEM VAL: You realize there’s only one of you, right?
KHEM VAL: Never mind.
BABY VECTOR, holding up a small bowl filled with a viscous white liquid: Membrosia is a natural product of the Killik nest. It has many salutary effects, such as increased energy, longer lifespan, improved strength…
BABY BROONMARK shuffles up and grabs the bowl from BABY VECTOR’s hands. He drops his proboscis into the liquid and starts slurping.
BABY VECTOR: …and assimilation into the hive mind, permanently rendering you an organic part of the nest with only as much independent volition as the nest chooses to grant.
Everybody else leans toward him, watching with some interest.
BABY BROONMARK turns his head and spits a long jet of membrosia onto the floor. He hands the bowl back to BABY VECTOR.
BABY VECTOR: That’s all we had to say.
T7-01: Vector = thank you // Membrosia + Killiks = interesting // Next = Vette
BABY VETTE crawls to the front of the room carrying a little paper bag. She produces a flat square object of some shiver-inducing black metal, unlike anything modern technology knows. Several of the children shift uncomfortably and can’t look directly at it.
BABY VETTE: This here is a mysterious artifact from the battlefield of Chabosh. Sometimes humans go crazy and die when they touch it, which is pretty cool. It’s probably worth a lot of money.
BABY TALOS: That belongs in a museum!
BABY VETTE: And I’ll help it get there! For a very competitive price.
KHEM VAL: I recognize that pocket protector. It belonged to Tulak Hord.
BABY VETTE: Wow. That’ll crank the market value right up.
KHEM VAL: You will return it to me. Or I will kill you. And your family. And your friends. I will lay waste to your home planet and feed on the dying screams of everyone you have ever loved.
T7-01: Khem Val = overreacting // Khem Val = scaring the children // Khem Val = also scaring T7
BABY VETTE: Fine, if you’re gonna get weird about it.
BABY VETTE sulkily surrenders the pocket protector.
T7-01: That = more than enough // Next = Quinn // Remember rules = no hostages
BABY QUINN strikes an impressive pose.
BABY QUINN: Today for show and tell I will demonstrate the superior power of the Empire by bringing you the captured Republic frigate Valiance, recently taken in a daring and cunning operation off Ilum. Our pilots will make a low flyby by the window so you can all admire it before we take it to Dromund Kaas to be retrofitted for Imperial service.
M1-4X, from the toybox: You fiend!
T7-01: Forced Companions = neutral planet // defenses = zero tolerance against military units
A choking whine from somewhere out the window starts rising to a deafening roar. Everyone looks out the window as a smoking, blaster-riddled R.S. VALIANCE streaks from the sky, howling low over Forced Companions to smash into the street and run a long explosive furrow for several miles across the countryside.
T7-01: Valiance = shot down // House rule = no military invasions // children = know this
BABY QUINN: It wasn’t invading, Mister Teeseven. Just striking fear into the hearts of the Empire’s enemies. I wasn’t breaking the rules.
T7-01: Quinn = explain that to the planetary defense grid // Maybe they = care
BABY QUINN, disconsolately: I could probably have planned this better.
BABY JORGAN: Please tell me they’re going to promote you into high command someday soon. I could really use a guy like you on the other side.
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