I disagree. I think bad guilds and bad groups used DPS meters inappropriately-- looking at them as "Person 1 did x DPS, Person 2 did y DPS, therefore person 1 is better." If you want an addon that ruined games, talk to Gearscore.
Addons like Recount let you see not only how much damage was done, but how many interrupts were performed, how many CC's (and broken CC's), and other useful stats that could really give you a good idea of who needs improvement. For newer players, it was also useful to see where improvements can be made. If a similarly geared character of the same level and class is doing significantly more DPS than you, you might want to ask that person a few questions and see what you're doing wrong.
Recount was also extremely useful for healers, to see how much overhealing they were doing and particularly which spells were overhealing. I used this to develop new healing strategies when Cataclysm hit (and mana conservation actually mattered).
One last thing: If you have one DPS in your group that is doing virtually no damage, then yeah-- he needs to be talked to. MMO's are about downing content by working as a group, not 90% of the raid carrying the bad.
You are all over the place with this post.
First, progression guilds don't rely on meters or, even, try to evaluate those issues during the raid. We post logs and analyze the logs between lockouts. That's the only way to evaluate performance as a raid or individual performance. You need time and discussion to understand the numbers. This is especially true for healing and dps. We don't even allow members to post meters during raids.
Meters do show things like interrupts, but so what? Being hammered by the skill that your guildy was supposed to interrupt also contains the same information. You assign people to perform certain duties and expect them to get it done. If you have 2 people interrupting then you expect them both to get their act together.
Meters are a tool used primarily by pugs and second tier raiding guilds that are trying to do their best with no real appreciation for how to accomplish it. They believe things can be fixed "on the fly" and once you overgear the raid, they are probably right. Once half the raid is overgeared and the other half is trying to get gear, those groups throw the numbers around like they mean more than they actually do. I have seen this over and over again in alt pug raids and when I raid with other guilds.
That said, you will get your way and this game will eventually have dps meters. They always do.