First off meters are an analysis tool that speeds up decision making. I am in no way elitist but I hold my own in whatever group I've been in WoW. I've been a GM of more than one guild consisting of mostly casual raiders. I.e. folks that are pretty good players but don't have time to devote to hardcore raiding.
Combat logs & damage meters (which also DO show activity of healers, cc breaks, etc. btw) are a really really useful tool for many many reasons. A tool is only as good as the person using it and the purpose for which it was used. I'm glad when the police defending my wife and kid have a gun (tool). Not so much when the person breaking into my house does.
Meters neither increase the amount of jerks who misuse them or decrease them. There will never be a jerk-free game (even if you play alone...saw the joke had to try it). If you are in a group with a jerk leave it. Eventually he'll get the hint. If someone is giving you honest feedback to help make you a better player accept it. If you are expecting people with limited playtime to carry you through an instance where you are underperforming then don't be offended when they ask you to step out.
I've used meters to help teach others to play, to see how well I play, and to see if we can get bosses down before timers go boom boom. I've kicked jerks that are good to make a run more fun and I've kicked underperformers for the same reason.
The main advice I can give folks is this...Play with people who play the game like you do. That way you'll always have fun. Hardcores will gravitate toward the same as will casuals. The only time this really comes up is in pugs. If the pug isn't fun or they are being rude...then kick them or hop out. Have fun people and don't sweat others that try and steal that from you.
Peace out and good hunting!