Jump to content

DougTbx

Members
  • Posts

    70
  • Joined

Reputation

10 Good

Personal Information

  • Location
    Columbus, Ohio
  • Interests
    reading and gaming, sci-fi and fantasy mostly
  • Occupation
    Grocery store clerk
  1. Great story, both of them I've been following both your plots and greatly enjoying them. I must admit I've toyed with the idea of doing something similar for awhile but due to my utter lack of skill as a writer the ideas remained trapped in my head. Going to have to dig around and try to find the notes I jotted down for a story with my Havoc folks ending up in the Clone Wars era and their reactions to learning about the Republic disbanding it's army and navy after the last Sith wars and them now relying on a army of cloned, Mandos.
  2. Well plenty of twists and turns in the last few installments One being Major Stuffy Pant's brother, the return of Darth Jadus to the Empire. Someone finally moving on from Darth She WHO WILL NOT BE NAMED, good for Jonas, still having Lana defiled by one of her cast offs made me shudder as I romanced her with two of my characters so in my head my Hero of Tython and Wrath are both gagging at the thought lol Excellent work Luna.
  3. I'm quite liking how this story is starting, actually a rather similar story concept has been bouncing around in my head for sometime but I'm terrible at writing so it's stayed mostly there. BTW nothing wrong with teasing poor Obi Wan there, it builds character . The whole no connection bit for the Jedi has always bugged me, especially in light of that for the vast majority of the the Order's existence Jedi were allowed to marry and have families. It wasn't until after the Exar Kun war that that the silly idea got started apparently along with the restriction of one Padawan t at a time to a Master for training.
  4. Well I went a bit off the rails there myself and when I read the next bit of the story I was eating some serious crow there. One is a seriously evil, and disturbed villain, which makes him a perfect match for Jadus and his pack of minions.
  5. Sorry that you took my previous comment post as a personal attack, it wasn't meant to be Luna. If you look at the beginning of the post I did say that I was hoping what was going on was just more mind washing on Theron. I was worried that you had completely jumped the shark as it were with your treatment of some things in the previous story, but as they say you know what happens when you assume. Magdalane if I didn't enjoy the majority of Luns's writing I would have dropped following her work awhile ago, I'm not forcing myself to read it just so I can amuse myself by trolling.
  6. I was rather enjoying this, right up till the part where you decided you just had to kick Satelle's corpse a few more times with this revelation of an affair with her former master. Please tell me this is some sort of head trick being played on Theron? Haven't you done enough to that character already without projecting your MCs problem of sleeping with any guy who is nice to her? Your really portraying her as sleeping with her former mentor during the same time she was having an affair with Jace and then lied to him and Theron later? After that last moment she had with Theron and saying she had no regrets, how could you do this? A Jedi spirit coming back to ask for vengeance, not justice, not it needs to be done, but get this person cause they screwed them over, thats what a Sith spirit would do, not a Jedi at peace with them self enough to become one with the Force upon death. I like a lot of your writing, but I'm not going to pretend some parts strike me as not so good, with your twisting of established characters to fit your personal preferences. SO before I turn the comments back over to the screaming fan boys and girls who only heap non-stop praise upon you, could you not try to destroy Theron's mother by making her to have been a lying, two timing tramp, just to make Darth Mary Sue not look quite so bad in comparison?
  7. The Empire does evil things as a matter of course, genocide against non humans on Nar Shada, death to all force sensitives who won't or can't be trained as Sith. The experiment on Belsavis was the scheme of one Senator and was shut down by the Senate as soon as word of it was reported. Note also the Empire wants to recreate the experiments for their own use (Belsavis Bonus Quest Line) in fact one of the Imperial's says something to the effect "I can't believe we didn't come up with the idea on our own. In the Agent's first chapter when you confront Jadus your instructed to allow him to fire the weapon satellites and kill thousands or more Imperial Citizens just to convince him your on his side and buy time to capture him. The Empire only saves the one planet from destruction so it can mine Isotope 5 using the population as a smoke screen to keep the Hutts in the dark about their real objective. It's plain that you like the Empire and the Sith, okay, but your trying to morph them into something they are not in the game is starting to get just silly. Your MC has already killed all three of the Republic's head NPCs, what's left for her to do aside lead her suddenly not so Dark Sided Empire to final victory over the Republic and have Theron decide he'd be happier as her piece on the side for when she gets bored or angry at her hubby? The Sith want the Jedi wiped out, what is she going to do when she's told to either watch or slaughter the younglings herself?
  8. Problem with this is none of the Sith characters in your story are light sided, Marr nor Scourge were ever close to it and your MC was at best grey before she started acting on her every whim or impulse. Yes Kaeden was a jerk but you can be a jerk and still not be a blood thirsty, sociopath, I'm fairly sure he doesn't have a mass grave of executed POWs in his closest like she does. Ideals, does she even have any? No she has whatever emotional whim is in her head at the moment and acts on it. She loves Scourge yet wants Theron too if he'll turn traitor just for her, she used to hate the Sith for what they did to people but as soon as she learns her father is one she's okay becoming one. Her issues with Satele, how many times did Shan try to help her when she and the order would have been far better off kicking her out of it? The Dark Side is evil and that has always been clear from Star Wars's own creator, yet people keep trying to rewrite it to fit their own agenda, either to smear the Jedi or let their good, characters use those cool, dark side powers cause it's you intentions that count so what if I use force lightning or choke to torture someone for info? Immersion in the Dark Side corrupts feeding off of a person's negative emotions, thats why it can't be channeled thru love, yet love can foster all sort of negative emotions it can use, fear, jealousy, hate, especially if that love is a selfish type, like her's or Anakin's
  9. Why would or should Theron drop his ideals and join the Empire just so he can be her little affair on the side when Scourge isn't around? Seriously as well written as the story has been , the morale relativism has gotten to epic proportions by this point. Jedi Killers, no she was trained as every other Jedi to be a defender of other people. She was never trained how to torture prisoners or to murder her fellows when no one else is around to be a witness to it just to get ahead, that is the Sith. At this point Master Din must be shaking his head in the afterlife wondering why he even bothered to speak to her on Rishi? Course if it's not what she wants to hear it's in one ear out the other followed by a rant from her thats all memememememe. Course the only bright spot is that maybe Scourge is starting to realize just how unbalanced she is, he really isn't going to care to learn about her selling their child to a Sith ghost. The Theron part of this story was a let down, but you've been consist ant that he leaves his brains at the door when it comes to her, hopefully he'll get it that he can't save her from herself and just accept she's a Sith now and thus the enemy. Work on getting his son away from her and leave a thermal detonator in a nicely wrapped gift box with a bow on it for her and Scourge, preferably before Scourge gets around to killing the child, not like he's above murdering kids after all.
  10. I'm surprised you didn't just have her effortlessly kill Satele there, so when does she get into the real Sith fun, you know butchering children like Lord Goh back on Tython? Seriously I'm curious when or if she's going to get to see what she's chosen isn't all candy and roses. Will she find joy in enslaving the people she formerly defended, not that I would be surprised by her doing so at this point. The whole the Jedi lied to her and made her a killer is silly, what would she have been doing all this time if she had been raised as Marr's daughter and trained as a Sith? Like I said before she never really listened to what Kira told her life as a Sith was, but then her not listening when it's not to her liking is nothing new, especially with how incredibly self absorbed she is , Marr should have named her Darth MEMEMEMEME!!! In a way, which I find amusing, she's exactly what Shan could have turned into if she had allowed herself to be ruled by her passions. I know you may disagree and others certainly will a lot of folks reading this story hate the character of Shan, I'm not one of them.
  11. My oh my...that was quite the spanking she got from Daddy there wasn't it? Poor girl and she thought being with him would be so wonderful, well welcome to the down side of being a Sith apprentice, title or no title, child or not. Maybe she should have listened a bit more when Kira told her about growing up in the Empire and life in the Academy on Korriban? I just hope Doc and Kira don't get killed or worse trying to save her from her own screw ups.
  12. The Republic has it's issues no doubt but they're nothing compared to the Empire's, and our Lady on the Lamb knows first hand as she's derailed quite a few Imperial mass, murder schemes. I'm interested to see how she deals with the expectation now that she'll take up the Imperial cause and wage war against the people she's protected up till now?
  13. Well after her escape to the Empire I would imagine a couple things happening. First a lot of her skeletons are going to fall out of the closet. The ordering of the execution of prisoners on Tython, after her murdering the Chancellor someone is going to talk, as well as what she did to that Sith chopping him up and sending the bits to the Dark Council as a present. Theron's going to have to talk to someone about watching her murder that SIS Agent over the holo on Ziost in a mad hissy fit . The conspiracy folks would becoming out of the wood work that all the evidence makes it clear she was a Sith, deep cover mole working for Marr first to eliminate the Emperor so he could gain control of the Council, while posing as a Jedi. Then the latest bit, getting close to Saresh in order to assassinate her. It all makes sense, her Sith accomplice Scourge ready in the ship, all of her other non-driod companions conveniently off ship. Then being rescued by Marr and his fleet, all to convenient to be coincidence
  14. I'm still laughing my self silly after reading that
  15. So is that the end of the story her and Scourge escape and live happily ever after? She certainly left Theron is one hell of a mess, adding and abetting in the escape of a wanted fugitive who murdered the Chancellor at the very least. Will she go to the Empire to be with Daddy at long last as she has no future in the Republic, at this point none of her crew should to trust her again after this. Speaking of which Rusk I imagine being the dyed in the wool Republic, patriot (DS or not) would shoot her on sight if they ever met again. then again he wouldn't have thought twice about sighing up for that mission to take out Marr, her father or not. Course that leads into my issue with this whole Saresh thing, neither Doc or Scourge are Republic military or SIS personnel, she couldn't order them to make her a sandwich let alone go on a suicide mission and Shan I don't see agreeing to send any Jedi on such a mission, capture Marr yes, but not assassinate him. It's been an interesting read, though I have no sympathy for the MC, she's as I said before a example of why if your a Jedi during that time you can't have nice things, like relationships, cause of folks like her who are completely unable to master their passions and not be slaves to them, and thus no one can be trusted with them. Course then she really is a Sith in the end despite her claims otherwise, just one that feels a little guilt, after she's butchered you, cause she was upset and you didn't remember she likes two sugars in her coffee not one.
×
×
  • Create New...