at the OP, your post makes a LOT of sense, the numbers ordered and expected are high but you are missing one thing, these queues on servers have no more than 1k players on, the fullest of the full is virtually deserted in game!
The game is good, it has a lot of great potential but its quite obvious that the hardware does not meet the requirements and given the experiences you detailed quite correctly from other MMO's you'd think the capacity planners would have been all over this, no?
If EA wanted to make a dent in the mmo that beats all other mmo's they should have been better prepared, as it stands, those players who want to leave that game may very well not solely because they cant actually.....play.
you know, the thing people pay their cash for..