I played WoW for years and I seen more of the bad behavior everyone is talking about before they had the cross server LFG tool. I never had any problems with people getting their loot and dropping. Maybe it was just that they decided to hang on to get their loot even though the group totally sucked "I can hang on for 3 more pulls then I am outta here to repair my trashed gear".
It's a matter of statistics, the more groups you form, the more chances of a bad one. But I would much rather take my chances at finding a bad group then spending hours upon end spamming chat trying to find ONE person to fill a group. I had one of my alts at the Hammer station level and decided to work on crafting(the main reason I was training him atm). I spent 3 days on the fleet doing nothing but crafting and spamming chat for a group for 4-8 hours a day. I found one group and that was only because a level 50 was running a guildie through. Being a tank I had to do none of it so it ended up being a very boring run for me. I have seen times where the fleet had around 50-60 people in the middle of the weekend. Out of those maybe 5 or 6 would be around your level and only have of them are interested in looking for a group. Another alt that I have trained to mid 40s has run maybe 4 or 5 flashpoints and it's not for lack of trying.
As for it ruining the community - BS - what community is there other then your guild and those are shrinking daily. X-server groups don't cross ALL of the servers, they are in smaller groups. I have used the tool and ran with people from other servers on more then one occasion. We had nice chats about how things have been since the last time. Launching this game without x-server LFG and the upcoming 1.2 patch was a huge mistake. I said all along during the beta once the date was set that they needed to wait another 6 months.
"But blah, blah, blah never had this at launch"... Yeah you are right and all but one of them is F2P now. When I go by a car I don't compare it to cars from 10 years ago, I compare it to cars coming out next year.
Drop the elitist attitudes and realize that this is for the better of the game. Nobody forces you to use it. But if it helps keep others from quitting from sheer boredom then you benefit from a more active community by Bioware deciding that the game is worth putting more effort into. If it keeps up on it's current decline they will start focusing on their next big launch.