And now I wish I could find some time to play. Hi Witchglove!

Hey! I'm back and I want more. Pretty please?

Hello there! Back from the dead... or from a really busy 8 months period outside of the game. I forgot how much working on the writing of a LARP can be time consuming... So I get that there is not that much to expect on our sexy ex-emperor's side from the moment I left around May?

Not so much. But from the moment he became an ally, I hoped for romance, as he was the very first male Force sensitive character in my girl's companions and really did not fit with Theron and was ready for a change.

Hey, nice to see you here. Thank you. I am a slow writer and do not have many chapters written in advance like Kitar did so you may have to wait I little, but I am glad that you like the story.

Thanks. II know that I have my own opinion on him that is not necessarily shared, but I like to explore his thoughts and feelings. Well, I guess that none of them do. Anger often makes people say things they did not really want to say. Yeah well, I can't keep having thigs happening this way. Now I may need to allow him to express himself... or not.

Yep, that would be me. Thank you! Are you the one who sent me the comment about sitting up all night reading the chapters, then?

Chapter 19: Uncovering Shadows "Are you sure that you three will be enough?" "Are you doubting our skills, Arcann?" she retorted with an amused smile. It was late. The last details of the next operation had just been set and Nyx and Arcann were walking together back to their respective quarters for a short night sleep. The traitor's trail was leading them to the shadow world of Umbara and they were determined not to let them escape. While Nyx, Theron and Lana would chase them aboard the high speed train that was supposed to serve as a meeting place for their foes, another group would be deployed to prevent the Republic to get hold of the precious crystals that constituted the only interest that the planet had for foreigners. These crystals were used in lightsabers but worrisome rumours mentioned that scientists had found a way to use their properties in the development of super weapons. In a time were the biggest forces in the galaxy still suffered from their losses against the Eternal Empire and the strict arms limitations that had been imposed on them later on, being the first to get hold of such weapons was the Sith Empire's and the Republic's main goal, a goal that the Alliance had to prevent from happening. So far, chasing the traitor had led to nothing. Whoever was betraying them unquestionably knew how to cover their tracks. Umbara were their first sound lead and a welcomed one. "No… Of course not," he retorted, slightly regretting how his question had come out. He would know better than doubting the firepower that the three of them could deploy together, but he could not help hating the idea of being in a totally different location. "I need you to lead the other group. Lana could have done it, but with the energy that she put in finding the traitor, it is her right to be there when we get hold of them." "I know… I will do according to your instructions, Commander," he answered, nodding formally. Consciously or not, he had started mimicking Lana's way of interacting with Nyx since their return from Zakuul, making a clear distinction between the moments when she held her position as the Commander of the Alliance and times when their interactions were less formal when he called her by her name. It had been a couple of weeks already and each time he pronounced her name still seemed hesitant, as if he was still uncertain of the appropriate way to behave in these moments. They had slowed down and stopped in front of her quarters, Arcann's being located further down a nearby passage. Reaching out to the door's access panel, she turned around to face him and addressed him a warm smile. "Have a good night sleep. We will need to be fit tomorrow." Arcann opened his mouth to bid her good night in return but his answer did not come out. The corridor was empty and the shroud of quietness that had fallen onto the base gave the place an aura of intimacy. He was familiar with the particular atmosphere of that time of the day as it was the one he favoured for working on the armour he was forging, but while it had usually a soothing effect on him he did not find the same peace in her presence. He felt painfully drawn by forces pushing him forward and others holding him back. Boldness and restraint. Want and doubt. He inhaled profoundly and mustered his courage, knowing that he might not find another appropriate moment to speak to her before a while. This one was not worse than another, they were alone and the night was as peaceful as it could be prior to an operation, so… "Nyx… Before we part, I would like to talk to you about something private," he uttered in a single breath before he could think otherwise. Nyx raised a quizzical gaze upon him and tilted her head on the side slightly, pondering about his request, then seemed to reach a decision. "Come in, we can talk here." She turned around and reached to open the door of her private quarters, Arcann bracing himself in her back for the confession he wanted to make. Bracing himself or at least desperately trying to. This was no usual battle, not one he could step into with his lightsaber in hand and use all his might to win. Winning had nothing to do with overpowering an opponent, defeating a foe. Neither his fighting nor negotiation skills would be of use. He could not leverage them in a situation where the only thing he could do was uncovering what he had kept hidden in the depths of his heart and helplessly hope for acceptation. Holding his breath unconsciously, he prepared to follow her into the room when the door opened when she suddenly froze. "Theron?" How the spy had gotten into to the room without crossing their path was a mystery. Of course, they had not rushed to her quarters after the latest Alliance meeting, but Theron must have headed there immediately after its end. The reason why he was now waiting there, sitting at the table that she sometimes used for a quick late dinner alone, was even more mysterious. He had seemed rather concerned in the War Room and looked even gloomier when he raised his eyes to meet the Commander's. It only took Nyx a few seconds to turn a questioning gaze to Arcann but his decision had already been instinctively taken. "I… It can wait for your return," he managed to mutter, his gaze fixed on the other man. "Are you sure?" His confusion must have been visible and a concerned frown was now painted on the woman's face but he shook his head vigorously, trying as much to convince her than himself. "Yes," he confirmed hastily, already taking a step backward. "Yes, it's… not that important. We can talk when you come back. Good luck Commander." Arcann had backed off and started to make his way to his quarters before Nyx could decide otherwise, leaving her puzzled. She watched him disappear around the corner wondering how she had to interpret what had just happened. While she had noticed that he had tended to avoid intruding in other people's interactions within his first weeks on the base and had therefore retreated from such situations more than once, that first period seemed to be over. Furthermore, he had never reacted in such a way with her until then, yet he had just fled before she was even able to suggest meeting later and simply did not look like the man she thought she started to know… Whatever he wanted to speak about, it had to be sensitive enough to make him hesitate more than usual… The fact that she would not know anything about it before leaving for Umbara bothered her and she gave an accusing look to Theron while entering her quarters. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked in a falsely innocent manner. "I don't remember you making your quarters a secondary meeting room open to anyone wanting to speak to you, I believe." She felt her patience immediately grow thin and answered coldly. "Yes you are. And whatever it was, it is certainly none of your business, Theron. What are you doing here?" "I too need to talk to you before we leave…" While his voice was serious, his posture was particularly nonchalant, which was a good indication for those who knew him well that he was not feeling particularly at ease. Nyx sighed and pulled the chair on his right to sit down. "What is the matter?" Theron raised his eyes to meet her gaze again. He looked tired and worn. The dark circles under his eyes had grown worse than ever and Nyx wondered how he could still walk straight. He had been working day and night for so much time now, and nothing of what could be said to him seemed to convince him to slow down. Luckily the hunt would soon be over and hopefully they could all get more rest. "We may finally find out tomorrow who the traitor is…" "Yes," she answered. "But you do not look relieved. Isn't it what you have been working on for a while, now?" He sighed deeply, as if he was letting go of a weight held far too long and crossed his arms on his chest. "Yeah, I have." The former spy remained silent for a while with a frown, like buried in his thoughts, then uttered his concern: "I was wondering… What if you find out that it was someone you trusted? What if you discover that it was… I don't know… Lana, or Arcann… or even me?" Nyx huffed and shook her head in disbelief. "Would any of you three be dumb enough to do such a thing? I doubt it." "Answer the question." "Whoever it is, I already stated my rules," she retorted dryly, mimicking his posture. "The traitor dies and I will make no exception." "Mh… I thought so, yeah. No second chance this time, hu?" he asked, raising an interrogative eyebrow but already knowing the answer. "Not after remaining silent when being offered an opportunity for forgiveness already once." Nyx was referring to the opportunity that she had given to anyone in the Alliance to make amend and confess their implication in any kind of treachery. Her terms had been clear, whoever did not step forward that day and was caught later on threatening the Alliance would not be given mercy. Once the conditions had been stated, all who were close to her knew that there was no turning back. She would not risk losing credibility by changing them afterwards or making granting special treatments. Whoever it would be, and whatever the cost, the rule would prevail. She might even deal with treacherous friends with more anger than she would with anyone else. Theron had stood up and started pacing, nodding silently. Nyx turned around to observe him with curiosity and a bit of concern. He was definitely more nervous than his usual, as if the idea of finding the traitor was a source of distress rather than relief, which was barely explicable. But they were all tired, and the idea of potentially missing their target was probably what was bothering him so much. "Yeah. Makes sense… After all, you're still a Sith," he finally uttered, nodding again. His statement put a mocking smile on her face. "I do not recall you having a problem with it." "I didn't… I mean, I don't. Didn't was referring to… well, you know." The spy had blushed a little and cleared his throat nervously, scratching the spot behind the left hear that was a typical sign of his embarrassment. But quickly regaining composure, he continued. "Anyway, I guess that the traitor should better be smart or else they are living their last hours." "I am confident that we will be smarter than them," she answered with conviction. After all, Theron and Lana were unique in their ability to track down people and get the most sensitive information. The traitor had been skilful so far, but Nyx was certain that they would catch them on Umbara. Theron did not seem to share the conviction. He winced a little and came closer to the table again to grab the back of a chair, leaning forward towards her. "Unless it is someone who already knows about our plans…" he said in a low secretive voice. She frowned, asking circumspectly: "What are you trying to draw my attention to, Theron? You would not come in here to point willingly at yourself, that would be utterly ridiculous. So who is it? Who are you trying to accuse?" He shook his head vehemently, letting go of the chair to make a few steps backward, looking at her. "No one. I'm just telling that you should count on yourself only, just in case. You may have been a little overconfident lately. Like… easily trusting that people will not go behind your back. Dammit, I cannot believe that I am telling you to remain careful." She remained motionless, silently gazing at him but felt that anger slowly was spreading its wings inside her chest. If there was something that she did not tolerate, it was such kind of comments, especially when they were coming from someone who may not be the perfect example to follow either. And of course Theron, with his trust issues and tendency to work on his own was definitely not one she wanted to be lectured by. "You know, you are not exactly blameless yourself, if we speak about going behind someone's back…" she answered sourly. "Yeah, fine, I know. Well, shall I remind you Lana's numerous little tricks too, then?" Her patience was growing thin again. And the more she felt it, the colder she was getting. Theron usually knew where to stop to avoid crossing the line, but his usual restrain seemed forgotten this time. "Am I supposed to give you both marks and see who wins?" "Damn, Nyx! Just stop a minute and look at who you trust the most!" Theron had begun pacing again accompanied his words with sharp and angry movements. "A former Republic spy, a Sith with countless secret contacts and a deadly former enemy who became an ally not so long ago. Wouldn't it be common sense to remain a little cautious?" She huffed and stood up as well, stepping towards the desk where a bottle of Corellian Whisky stood to pour herself a drink. "Of course. The picture would not be complete if you had not added Arcann to it. Are we done yet or are there any other people you want to talk about?" "Oh, I'm glad to hear that there's absolutely no issue in entrusting a man who tried to kill you countless times with the most sensitive information about the Alliance as if he had been by your side for years. And with your life as well, now that you chose him to be your new fighting partner." Nyx put the bottle down and slowly turned around, sipping from her glass and licking her lips before answering. She felt definitely angry now, even though she still contained her wrath. Her nostrils flaring, she addressed him a condescending smile. "Are you jealous, Theron Shan? Shall I remind you that we are not sharing a bed anymore?" "Well, thanks for reminding me of our relationship. And for summarising it to having shared a bed. I will always be impressed by your sensitiveness. But I guess that, unlike others, I am not worth your consideration. You bloody Force users cannot even acknowledge that we, inferior beings, might have feelings." "Don't you even dare projecting your mother issues upon me! You shagged with a Sith, not an all-loving, benevolent and sugar-coated Jedi, deal with it!" Her last words and the furious way she barked them at him, smashing her glass down against the desk, made him freeze totally. Staring blankly into space, he blinked several times as if trying to wake up from a bad dream then shook his head, raising an aghast gaze upon her. "You know what? I'm done with this. All I wanted was to… Oh stars! Don't ever tell me I didn't try…" Theron quickly reached the door and stopped, his back turned on her. Eyes closed he sighed deeply and pushed on the command panel to open. As he stepped outside into the dimly lit hallway, leaving a panting Nyx alone inside the room, he shook his head once more and mumbled inaudibly. "Maybe it's better this way…" ______________________________________________ Arcann had not gone to his quarters after he had left Nyx with Theron. His feet had moved him forward then right, but instead of stopping at the door leading to the area he still shared with his mother, they had lead him further down the hallway. He did not really remember the whole way down to the woods. He had obviously taken a lift and walked without even paying attention. And now, there he was, panting, standing in the middle of the place they usually used for their training sessions, surrounded by the golden yellow glow of his lightsaber lit in his hand and an agonising shade stalker shuddering in front of his feet and three more behind it. He had not come there to fight, but when the beasts had attacked, he had released all his frustration into the most violent blows he could deliver. The monsters had not last long and he almost regretted it. There was still so much anger, so much pain that he had to get out of his heart… Stepping around the closest animal, he moved to a spot left untouched by his former fight and forced himself to breathe profoundly before taking a defence stance. Slowly, he began to move in a complex succession of movements that he could let flow one after the other without even thinking. He knew the sequence by heart for he had done it countless times from the moment he had learnt it to keep anger, frustration or sadness at bay, and so often a mix of them all. He was still a young child when his knight teacher had surprised him at night crushing utility droids with a wooden stick with as much strength as his little arms could provide. He had expected to be beaten for it, like so many times when he had done something that was forbidden or simply not to the tastes of his instructors, and remembered that the idea itself had not even bothered him. The day had been an awful one. He had trained hard and got hurt more than his little body should have suffered, but he had remained courageous and continued, again and again, drying his cheeks stained with dirt, sweat, blood and tears as many times as needed. But again, the man who overlooked their training, his father, had turned his back on them, refusing to give even the slightest glimpse of acknowledgement of the efforts that were done. Getting beaten once more at night did not change a thing, every single one of his limbs was already so painful that a little more would not make a difference. But as a matter of fact, the knight had not beaten him as expected. Instead, he had brought him back to the training grounds and showed him how to let his emotions flow through his body to reach the stick and expel them with every move. They had kept it a secret, but night after night, he had learnt. Night after night… until his trainer had gotten caught and their encounters reported to his father. The knight had been taken away and Arcann had never seen him again, but he had continued alone, both because it helped him bear every passing day and in pure defiance. He had not trained this way in his darkest years. He did not see the point in expelling his feelings anymore when they could fuel him instead. He had started cherishing pain too much to want it to go away. Pain was all he got after all, side by side with anger. But that day when he had followed her meditative routine with her had made it all come back and he had taken time in the silence of the night to find once more the sequence he had been taught. It had helped soothing him down several times already, but tonight, it could not make him forget how much he hated himself for not being able to tell her about his feelings, for having backed off when he should not have. But what was he supposed to do? Insist that his matter was more important than Theron's? Wait for their discussion to end and try once more to talk to her afterwards? No. No need to find any kind of excuses, he had been a coward, and he hated himself for it. For fearing her answer so much that he could not even bravely seek it. For being scared of feeling something inside him die if she rejected him. Oh of course, it was utterly ridiculous, his life did not depend on her answer, he would not die of hearing her decline his attentions, but wasn't it even worse? Arcann slashed in the air once again in a blow filled with rage and suffering. Why did he have to feel that way? Why couldn't he simply step forward or let go. He had been an Emperor, claimed planets, annihilated countless lives, taken a lot of them with his own hands and yet he had retreated when all he had to do was claiming her. He was a warrior after all, he had always fought whatever it had costed him, whatever the pain, surrendering had never been an option. But tonight, he felt stripped of any weapon he knew, powerless. Brute force was worth nothing in this fight, intimidation useless, fighting skills meaningless… He slowed down and stopped after the last stance, letting go of his lightsaber and turning the palm of his hands upwards, both flesh and durasteel, to look at them. That was exactly how he felt… empty-handed. What could he give her that she could not get anywhere else after all? He had no Empire left, no wealth, no title, no power. All he could offer as a warrior was already pledged to her. He would not leave if she rejected him, he would remain loyal despite the pain. All that remained to be given was himself, a broken man trying to rebuild himself and find a new path of life. There was only him, him and nothing else than promises of standing by her side and cherishing her whatever happened. But he was not even sure that he would know how to do that… Would he? Alone in the woods of Odessen, in the middle of the night, Arcann allowed something to happen, something that had not happened for what seemed like an eternity. Raising his face to look at the stars, he let tears of helplessness run down his cheeks unrestrained. Note: And sorry for the wait... I've been distracted lately.

Yay! I was finally able to finish it! From Ashes We Will Rise - Chapter 19: Uncovering Shadows And thanks, that commision piece is my wallpaper almost on every device now, I love it.

Oh hey, some new activity here! Hello new member of the Arcannites. I paired my SI with Arcann and, well, they work just fine together too. But she is of the neutral kind, not DS nor LS. The romance scene was cute even though now I would change many things in it because of the huge amount of headcanons I developed, and I loved Nathema's special scene. Now I have to get my head back into this romance and get back to work... I've been distracted lately...

I'd be glad to invest cartel coins in quality scenarized LI content... I have a hard time understanding why they do not simply give us a few letters to chew on once in a while. It is far from resource intensive, could potentially event be externalised.. Letters are short, writing one would take only a few minutes... All the LI could be covered in one work day or less.

Only that it would mean having to write dialogues for each character and have the voice actors work on it too. Not that easy in the end I guess. Don't get me wrong, I am strongly in favour of it. I believe that it makes sense to have the LIs come and say something when the Commander leaves on a mission or comes back, and my main LI is part of the ones who did not get that much screentime as a LI (I cannot say that we do not see Arcann that much overall ). I only say that it requires potentially more than we think.

I finally gave in to the temptation of having some commissions done... I am sooooooo in love with this one!

I think that our appreciation of romances highly depends on how we see our own character. Some LIs can be nice, they just do not fit. I'm an Arcann girl despite the lack of scenes we got so far. But I put a hell of a lot of headcanon behind it so far (like.... 80k words and counting? ). My SI had had Andronikos and Theron before but neither of them fit her. She needed someone she could consider an equal and here is Arcann, a powerful Force user who has as well been a leader. She needed someone like him, only then could she possibly fall in love. However, I loved Andronikos up to a certain point (I was shocked by the proposal and mention about having kids), but tend to consider that they have been friends with benefits. I liked the fact that he was not scared by the SI at all (which angered her more than once). And Theron... he was too nice for her. I think that Theron would be perfect with my IA, or my Scoundrel. I like Lana a lot so far, especially the way she changes in a relationship. She is usually all about control and very formal but she shows emotion and her polish cracks when she is romanced. Iresso ws the first romance I did 6 years ago so I do not remember much of it but I remember that I liked it. He was sweet and a great support to my JC, a strong shoulder she could lean on, that is the only thing I remember. I think that I have a sweet spot for big tough guys (and girls) who try to fight falling in love but just cannot help it. That means Torian, Aric, Andronikos, Arcann and Lana.

Well, whenever you will be ready to share your love letter to We-Know-Who, I'll be happy to read it. I guess that there is always something personal about writing. Whether it is about the characters, the situations, the way they fall in love, what they hate, or so many other things. The question, then, is how much is pouring into it and if it is a conscious choice or not. This is really interesting. To be honest I know nothing of these models, I'll have to have a look at them. But I usually know why I do certain things or do not do others. My first beta was a real help in trying to avoid piling up clichés, especially typical clichés of the fan fiction genre. Now that she is not there anymore I do not have someone pulling my ear anymore but I try to keep the thinking. It is hard sometimes, though, and I often have to wonder if I want to use a trope even if it may have already been used many times or not. All this, again, without knowing the rules. But one thing I am really having fun with now that I am more comfortable with the characters and have planned several things ahead is to add parts that are typically there because something related to it will come later in the story. There are other things that I am pretty sure that only I see (did you notice that Nyx's first name is never used in chapters where Arcann has the POV until the moment he learns about it?). This is the part that is hard for a non native. I can have a style and play with rythm in french, and obviously have a richer language. It is much more difficult in english and some areas, such as the use of slang or even expressions/idioms, are hard to deal with. Even if I am used to reading in english. If I write a real novel one day I will have to do it in my own language. But here I did not have much choice if I wanted to be able to share… Do you have good online sources for language? This is great. For me you can continue writing about your experience as much as you want. I will need to have a look at your references. I was wondering as well about following masterclasses. I found one made by Neil Gaiman and another one by Margaret Atwood that made me hesitate, but I am sure that there are many others given by unknown people of quality on places such as Udemy.