Hi my name is Grim if you don't know me I'd first like to say I play carnage mara which is actually a top spec but in my hands a bit below average if I had self heals it'd be better but I ain't no sell-out so don't look at me to run fury or sniper or merc because then I'd lose my indie cred like I lost ruthless aggresor. Meanwhile snipers have heal to full and I can't every get within range so how's that fair like?? I need you all to know that I've transcended ranked pvp by reading about it on the forums, in essence "beating" pvp so you can find me in a reg on any given day parsing on other kids in the sandbox. I tell them to stand still so they don't break my star parse and I can test out my new rotation clipping fear into my ferocity window but they always roll away so i pop camo go behind them and shout "TOO SLOW!" as I crit them for 10k with my quasi-burst. I don't think they usually notice I'm on them but I take "screeneies" so ya'll know I queue in the game not just ont he forums even though my output is relatively teenie. I'd like to take a moment to remind you I play carnage mara and I am oppressed. Anyway if you do know me you know I have to get this post's wordcount to 7,800 whjile keeping it to 2 paragraphs so we have a long way to go so you better buckle up buster. This just in: I have inside intelligence that ranked pvp is a sham and a manifestation fo the elitist underbelly of toxic proliferation of a concentrated effort to eviscerate the proletariat of regular warzone goers like myself that are actually secretly incredibly ina way that I haven't defined BETTER than ranked pvpers. Whew! Ranked is easy, and I know this because I've had anys tretch of success or compettitive impact ont he legitimate players within the scene so how. Bou. THA. I know it in my gut like only an honorable carnage mara could know. Insert tired old meme like NERF OPERATIVES to let the plebs oveer in genral laugh knowingly as we talk about compassion, love, or understandinf for the broken Dark Princess. We still have 7100 more words to go so I'm going to break out the ol' random word generator. I'm making a calculated bet that people will skim through my manifestos and not notice I'm talking about the length of giraffe's necks and the amount of galleons in the ocean right alongside my generally misinformed rambling about pvp but you may find tha tmore interesting anyway. What's really interesting is solo ranked, let me tell you my opinion on that (I have lots of opinions and you need to hear them, don't give me that look). There's a wannabee Frenchman on EU selling accounts and boosting misguided fools to think their top 3 titles means anything in current year, and therefore I am a 1200 player and regular warzone Champion. If you cna't follow that logic I'ma call you DUMB!.!. with a capital U. as in, U DUMB!.!. My name is Grim with a hard r and now that you know who I am we can move past the introduction of my thesis into the meat of the essay........ I've forgotten what I was talking about actually so I'll smash various words I've seen on the 9 hours a day I spend on the forums into a non-coherent thought and leave with that as I get back to it at some point. Stay Strong, stay carnage, stay pvp parsing and resist the ranged overlords and their ranked machinations.