This whole thread has been re-hashed about a million times.
The fact of the matter is such: the problem you have isn't with the meters, it's with the people.
If you group with people that have ridiculous complexes and need to be the highest damage on everything- you'll be grouping with an ***. And an *** is an *** with or without the meters. With them- he links meters, without them- he chats about the insane crit he just got and how everyone else sucks. The difference is with meters he gives empirical, honest data.
Stop grouping with bads and group with decent people instead of just 'whomever', and you'll no longer have these problems, and moreover you'll starve the annoying jerks of their power- they'll be forced to group up with one another.
Stop railing against meters and combat logging. I'm a tank, I'm a healer- I've never played a DPS class. I can't stand it- I find DPSing boring. I love damage/healing/activity/death/dispel meters and combat parsing. As a raid lead they tell me who is performing up to par, and what can be done about it. As a tank they tell me when I'm taking too much damage and why, so I can avoid it. As a healer they tell me who IS taking too much damage and/or why they're dying and what from.
Without these tools I'm left to guess, make assumptions, and bang my head against the wall. With them- I'm informed. I can make informed decisions: anyone can. The decisions made are based on information and logic, not opinions and guesses (a notoriously bad way to make decisions). The decision itself is up to the individual raid leader/group leader/player. If you have a problem with the decisions, blame the decision-maker, not the tools they use.
I'm sorry those of you have been burned in the past by people with combat parsing tools- I really am. It's unfortunate that the world consists of a lot of jerks. In order to play at the high echelons of PVE competition this game will require at max level and still be challenging- parsing the numbers (and that's what competitive PVE is about- numbers. My numbers vs the boss's numbers) will analyze weak points and allow the raid to compensate.
A non-challenging encounter will require no meters. If you don't like them- group with people that don't care if you win or lose the fight, and you guys can do whatever you like. But for people coming to this game seeking higher-end PVE competition, this will be of the utmost importance or they simply will move on. And you might not care, which is grand- maybe serious players only account for 15% of the game's revenue. That's 15% fewer tanks, healers, DPS- the people that follow them, the friends of theirs, the direct and indirect benefits they bring. That's fine. But please don't complain when you shoo these people away and then there's nothing to do at max level besides roll alts or PVP.
Love and hugs.